Auren is now the baby commander of the Scary Pants encampment. Ummm, okay. She gets to go almost anywhere and sleep in the nicest tent they have, which also happens to belong to Commander Scary Pants. Scary Pants says it’s because he can’t trust her, that’s why she has to stay in his tent. It’s like, sure, pal. It’s also very cold, but there are pallets and furs everywhere for her since she’s untrustworthy.
Hojat the mender comes to patch her up after Commander Scary Pants “accidentally” sees her naked in their tent, and Auren’s reluctant to let him help her, but he’s kind of weird, so she gives in and approves of him healing her. Soon she’s roaming around looking for hawks to send a message to Midas, which is like, why? it’s not like they were making it a secret, buying you from the snow pirates and taking you to their camp. But she’s still mentally in the clutches of her groomer, so we get a lot of her defending Midas. Like, a lot. I don’t think Auren bossing people around the Scary Pants camp and fretting for Midas for a few weeks needed a full book, but what can you do.
After chugging porridge, she’s now best friends with the cook, but still can’t find the hawks, and she’s not allowed to see the saddles. She’s freaked out that Rissa will out the fact that she can turn sadistic captains into gold, and I literally don’t understand the fear, but Lu, a female member of Scary Pants’s inner circle takes pity and takes her to the ladies. Who still hate her. And I’m kind of with them – she’s lording over the camp and they’re all in a single tent with the only privilege being allowed to walk in a circle.
Rissa won’t out Auren’s secret as long as she gives her gold! Now! Errr, huh? Auren freaks out, that’s her secret power in this book, freaking out, but she agrees to get her gold when they’re back in Midas’s clutches so that Rissa can start over again, maybe start a cardio pole dancing studio.
Hojat give Auren a checkup and tells her one of the saddles is pregnant. Auren freaks out because, I don’t know, she wanted to have a Midas baby, or she has some fear of babies. Soon she’s stomping into the fighting circle to defend a younger boy who doesn’t appear to enjoy being part of a fight club. Osrik is all, this is our training! Beating children! And Auren’s embarrassed, oh, ha ha, sorry! Carry on, then.
Oh no, you have to fight when you enter the fight circle, Auren! And she’s like, no thank you!, but too late, Commander Scary Pants shows up and manages to bully her into fighting and puts her into the ground a few times before she gets mad, uses her ribbons, and screams that she’s fae. Then looks around, do you think anyone heard that? Ummm, you’re in an open camp of soldiers.
But I have a problem that she’s still traumatized and physically battered from being, you know, groomed, threatened, almost assaulted, beaten, and sold to Scary Pants, but Commander Scary Pants finds it appropriate to taunt and belittle her until she stumbles around and he pushes her down. Like, wtf, seriously. I think the strangest thing is that I’m supposed to think he’s good for her, that he’s just helping her become the strong goddess she is, which is so different from Midas keeping her contained. No, Scary Pants is a total d*&k in this scene. But even Auren is grateful for his mean tutelage, and I’m again just like, wtf am I listening to?
He's all, yeah, they heard, no one cares about your mental health, you’re welcome!
Then she gets a bath set up for the saddles because she’s just so nice and they don’t appreciate it, but, ummm, you’re learning jujitsu and eating whenever you want while they’re all living in a four-person tent.
Auren does stumble into the hawk tent and sends a message to Midas saying, “You’ll be so excited to use my new freaked out power when I get back. Your Precious” and I just can’t with her anymore.
Commander Scary Pants finds some reason to kiss Auren, and she’s all confused because he’s supposed to be the bad guy, and, dude, he kind of is, he just taunted you to fight. I don’t really care anymore, but she’s all, what does it mean?!
At some point Scary Pants says that she can stay if she wants, she doesn’t have to go back to Midas, but she’s determined to go back to her grooming, narcissistic king because…no idea.
So Auren and the rest of the royal party are sent back to Midas, now residing in Fulke’s castle. Midas is all, oh hey, what’s shaking? when he sees Auren. Auren decides to impress him by freaking out, and he’s like, don’t worry, here’s your new cage! But now she doesn’t want to go into it! No! She wants to freak out in the open now! Commander Scary Pants’s terrible fighting circle has shown her a new way to live! Midas is like, ha ha, you’re cute, get in, silly. The Auren impersonator is in the cage when Midas finally has to throw freaked out Auren into the cage since she won’t go in on her own. Auren freaks out some more and in desperation to not be locked in accidentally turns the impersonator gold. Boo. But her ribbons also managed to destroy the cage door, hurrah!
Midas tsks her, boops her nose, then goes off to meet King Scary Pants while several guards stand outside of her room.
Midas tells King Scary Pants that war sucks, how about some gold? King Scary Pants doesn’t want gold, he wants a strip of land that no one wants. Because that’s not suspicious. Midas is all, weird, but okay, deal! And the war is now officially cancelled!
Meanwhile, Auren has been screaming in her room, only to be ignored by the guards. She then turns the door gold by mistake and freaks out some more. Until it gets scary quiet and King Scary Pants enters, quickly deducing that she has the golden magic since there are splatters of her gold everywhere. She’s all, yeah, so?! And then she’s upset he rotted the guards to death in the hallway, and he’s all, shrug, we all die, then proceeds to shift into Commander Scary Pants. Auren, realizing they are the same person, and it’s like, you’re fae! Good god.
Auren’s super pissed as Scary Pants tells her she can call him Slade. How many names am I supposed to remember?! she cries.
