Em’s sleepy. She’s been doing nothing but studying and throwing her underthings in corners for weeks now, not sure if the council will agree with her PowerPoint presentation. Creon has helpfully removed Edored from the meeting by enabling his alcoholism. Probably would have been more helpful to target an actual council member the others listen to, but I like Edored so I’m just glad to hear he’s still around.
Em’s been non-stop researching for her presentation and Creon thinks maybe she should be honest about their Tiddlywinking to the others, but she doesn’t want to! No! Bad Creon!
There’s a council meeting where Em presents her research and says she and Creon are going on an adventure to learn how to break the bindings, and Tared’s like, we’ll all go! And Lyn’s like, fyi, we’re losing all of our allies because they think Em is Creon’s mind puppet, so Em’s now, omg, I was right! We must never speak of the Tiddlywinking!
Off they go to begin their adventure into plague ravaged lands on their binding breaking quest and Agenor has a near mental breakdown to realize the Mother might have taken his memories of her killing the god he was sworn to protect, which obviously Em figured out. And Creon’s now staring at a wall.
The wall is some kind of message about have a better life than you deserve brother, and they all freak out because that means a god survived and Em’s theory was right. So off they go to find the gods with Em constantly, annoyingly, insufferably worried that if she steps on the wrong leaf they’ll all know about the Creon Tiddlywinking. She must go forth as though they are definitely not Tiddlywinking and ignore Creon, then she must worry that he’s mad she’s ignoring him. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat. They all nestle into a cabin and Em has to find a reason to explain why Creon needs to help her cook, and I’m like, for god’s sake! You two are the worst, just the worst, go write in your journals or something and let literally any other character do something.
But no, the Em-Creon mind-numbing melodrama just keeps going. While teaching Lyn how to sign to Creon, Em gets set on fire, and blah blah blah, Creon helps her, everyone is staring at them! We must not let them see hints of the Tiddlywinking! We must not! I’m about to speed this up. She doesn’t thank him, then freaks out that she didn’t thank him, and I’m like, yo, you didn’t thank any of the alves for saving and healing you, YOU DON’T THANK PEOPLE, EVER. He absorbed her burn pain and she pushes him aside, then is freaked out that he took her burn pain and she pushed him aside. Good golly, I don’t see this Tiddlywink hiding ending any time soon. I can’t talk to him! Then they’ll all know! The world will end and I’m the only one who can save it!
Ummm, okay, uncle, I’m going to 1.7x.
We can’t let Edored run off with the explosive news of our love. Omg.
Okay, it’s pretty funny when they have to apologize to the sentient woods for Edored being a thug, that he was dropped on his head and they just wanted him to see some of his world outside of his playroom.
And now they’re cooking again and she’s hissing at Creon, why are you doing what I asked you too?! You bastard! And he flies off by himself because she’s an a&%hole.
He found the temple by himself because she’s still an a*^hole. So off they go to the temple, I think, I started to space out with her whining about Creon doing what she wanted, and I can’t take it.
I think they’ve been wandering around the forest, they’re now in another house for Em to freak out about Creon doing what she asked but still too much of an a&%hole to tell everyone about him, and Nenya just popped in all sick to the confusion of Em, who gets scolded by Lyn for wondering if she’s okay. Because this is just how they all communicate. Nenya’s been drained by her giver person vampire – he likes to do this to her and she doesn’t like to talk about it.
Em, are you and Creon all right? OMG, LYN’S seen something!!! OMG!! Creon IS mad at me!!!
The now the phoenixes will only work with the resistance if Em agrees to never speak to Creon again. And back to 1.7x, this is ridiculous.
Creon swoops her off so she can yell at him about doing what she told him, and she starts shrieking that she won’t do it! She won’t do it! Finally, Creon is pissed. But he’s only mildly annoyed at her, he’s mad that people have made her feel like she has to do this. And she’s like, great! We can do this for seven more days! And he has to point out that wars often take longer than seven days. Creon thinks maybe she should try to be herself! And she’s like, I have to stop the war!!! People are looking for me! I have to… why do they all need her?
Then Tiddlywinks on an altar to Zera.
Creon tells her that maybe she should make her own decisions and for the love of god stop this storyline, and she’s all, let me think about it….no!
They go back to the cabin and Tared’s all, you’re not Tiddlywinking with Creon, right? At least that’s what she hears, so she trains with Tared and just keeps spazzing out in her mind that people can’t know she’s Tiddlywinking with Creon. This is the first family she’s really had, which I guess is valid, but if they don’t like that you’re with Creon, who’s saved them a few times now, then maybe you need to find new friends? No! They must never know, or should I tell them?
Edored, again showing why he’s not their main strategist, manages to wander outside of the demon wards and now has the plague! Creon helps him, they fade him to a healer, or somewhere, and fade him back and finally get it to stop. But there’s no stopping this feud between Creon and Tared! Oh no! I’m leaving this on 1.5x.
Em decides to try to get some time with Creon to see what scared Edored to running out of the demon buffer zone, which leads to Tared and Creon having a slapfest ending with Lyn having to burn Creon to get him to stop. He got a little stabby with Tared and now Em’s squealing again when Creon finally comes back and carries her off for a chat. Creon and Tared had exchanged some notes between classes that set Tared off, but Creon can’t act like that! She wants to tell them about him, but he’s, like, making it so hard! Smile more!
It's not so simple for Creon. He’s killed their friends and stuff like that, and Tared’s annoyed about everything, so they’re in a never-ending cycle of butt-hurtness, but Creon would like everyone to know about the Tiddlywinking. Em finally concedes to probably tell someone about their Tiddlywinking once they’re back in the Underground, really, she will, probably, she thinks.
News comes that the Nymphs are about to be attacked, so the group should probably cut their Em PowerPoint excursion short and go help them. Or, as Em’s brain puts it - nymphs, go, don’t go, go don’t go stay and wander around with Creon, go don’t go, go don’t go.
Em needs some time to think if they should go help their allies who are about to be massacred by Mother lovers because she’s seriously the worst in this book, so she goes for a walk in the Temple, prays, and walks into a tree.
She meets Zera, the goddess who she’s been cursing to through the books. Zera’s older and a little tired as she has to carry around a bag of world’s grief, which, honestly, would not be a lot of fun. She doesn’t want to teach Em the divine magic because she’d have to be godsworn and she could end up like the Mother, which is reasonable, but I wouldn’t give it to her to save us all from an entire book of her spazzing out if she’s using the magic right.
Em helps Zera with some chores, tries to lift the grief bag and fails, then does some more chores, lets Zera’s conversations sink in, realizes she needs to expand her empathy, and bam, she can now lift the bag. Zera’s like, great, let’s do this, and now Em is godsworn.
Zera wishes Em good luck, and Em, obviously, doesn’t thank her.
Em returns with her new, fancy godsworn powers and the whole group is off to nymph island to kill some fae. The nymph lady queen isn’t thrilled to see Creon, who literally butchered her predecessor, but she’s fine with it when Em suggests she and Creon take on the fae ships alone.
Tared shakes his finger at Creon and says he better not hurt Em, and I’m just like, good god, she refused to leave the Crimson Court without him, then Tiddlywinked with him for at least 3 months IN YOUR HOUSE, please, please stop being this stupid.
On to the fae pirate battle! with Em and Creon killing almost all of them. A big, mean fella who is immune to Creon’s magic snatches Em and flies off with her, but her familiar baby hawk saves her and Em kills him by destroying his mind, so that’s all fine.
As they recuperate by themselves on a beach (with the baby hawk who is now Em’s familiar), the nymph lady queen shows up and is all, you are a terrible person, Creon, off with you, but you are part god-ish and we’re nymphs, so you can stay, little baby godsworn.
Creon offers a bargain for the truth from him in exchange for a night on…nymph island! She accepts, then has to hear that he killed the nymph queen because he’s the only one who could take her pain, and blah blah, he’s not a murdering psycho, saved them twice now, la dee da. She’s finally, fine, you may stay one night, checkout is 10am!
Em asks for a prisoner for some magic testing, which the nymphs give her. She’s sad that the prisoner’s sad, but not sure what she was expecting. She tests out her new binding magic and I honestly don’t know why, I wasn’t paying enough attention, that when you take someone’s magic, you have to take something else, like memories, or fertility, or forgetting where they parked. So she does that, but only with Lyn’s dedication to hostessing is she able to see you need to put the magic and the parking forgetting in a container – here it’s Lyn’s refreshing beverage for Em. They shatter it and see the powers and parking forgetting split apart and blah blah. Since Em had to take something away along with the power, she takes his pain. Awww, see, she’s not a complete a&^&hole right now. That’s nice.
Agenor comes to nymph island at their request to pick his brain about where the bindings might be kept, which they decide is the Cobalt Court. And then they start another Creon-bashing party, so Creon leaves, Em defends him, then nymph hut Tiddlywinks. Tared finds them post-Tiddling and wisks Em away so they can go yell at each other.
Tared’s like, Creon’s manipulating you, he’s just so damned good looking! And Em’s all, isn’t he, though? And stop treating my twenty-one-years like they don’t have the same wisdom as the group’s collective three thousand years! I’m wicked smart! Yes, this is her defense of her love for Creon. Then Tared’s all butthurt that she didn’t tell him that Creon was preying on her, not Lyn, and I’m like, this is confusing. That would have been better for him? Hey Tared, pass the lemonade, and fyi, Creon is preying on me not Lyn. Cool, huh?
And back to 1.7x as Em keeps going on about what’s happened, people knowing blah blah. She decides they need to be discreet, again, she’s just killing me. She’s all, they won’t like me anymore, and yo, like they can go to the village square and hire a new godsworn unbound mage.
And now everything is Em’s fault in her brain, the doomed love between Lyn and Tared that she has brought to the surface, good god, they been dealing with it ten times longer than you’ve been alive, but it’s all about Em. 1.2x
Omg, she keeps going, 1.7x.
Luckily, we get a break as she and Creon start to work on how to get through the Cobalt Court’s Mother shield 1.2x, but our reprieve is brief. When they go back to the others, Lyn and Tared are having a fight and Em’s all, this all my fault, let me fix it, I’m the only one who can! Umm….what? Luckily Creon carries the overly dramatic twenty-one-year-old away from the scene. Where she pitches a fit that she’s the only one who can make this better for them all. Ummm…what?
And now she wants to tell the rest of the group that she and Creon have broken up, that’ll fix it all! I can’t, I just can’t with this. And she keeps going, omg, sweet baby puppies, this is awful. 1.7x
Okay, Creon tells her to f off with all this and back to 1.2x.
And now she has to go over it and over it to herself. 1.7x
Luckily, Thysandra shows up and is all, come with me or all the bindings blow up. 1.2x. Hurray! Now maybe Em could use that mind magic? Nope, Em escapes with Beyla leaving the rest of the group to submit to Thysandra until she once again figures out a way to save everything.
Up at the Cobalt Court, Em’s able to walk through the Mother shield with Alyra, her cute bird familiar who finds the fae guard set to destroy all the bindings if anything happens to Thysandra. Em now decides to use her mind magic to put him into a sleepy trance, and fortunately he had a note that contains the location of Creon’s binding.
Alyra goes off to show the group that all is well, they can ignore Thysandra’s orders and kill all the Mother loving faes because the bindings are safe while Em tracks down Creon’s binding. She finds it, then skips back to the group, who have fought their way through the bad faes and have taken a now very grumpy Thysandra hostage.
Em presents Creon his crystal binding orb, causing Thysandra to throw herself into the mix to keep Creon from getting his voice back since no one had a chance to win the Crimson Court Karaoke Tune Extravaganza when he was able to compete.
Creon is about to throw a knife into Thysandra when Naxi screams, sending Creon and the orb to the ground. The orb breaks and his unbound magic and voice split into two different magical wisps. Unable to multi-task, Em can only get one and she has to choose, his Mother killing magic, or his amazingly sculpted voice….
The group’s all screaming to choose his magic, but Em has seriously failed him this entire book, to the point of losing the goodwill of a kind and gentle listener who is sighing and saying out loud, “for f*cks sake,” as Em yet again treats Creon like a vaginal infection.
Em chooses Creon’s voice and for some reason magic gets stale over time so he has a hard time speaking, but is able to say her name. And I’m just glad he didn’t say Cactus, because I might have lit the book on fire.
