Still dumped, Elise mopes her way through saving the carpenter guy from being hanged.  She and Siv are being hazed by Ari, a fae who’s running around telling everyone he’s the king.  Ari wisely wants to see if they’re worth putting up with.  Ummm, that’s a no.  Well, and he wants to use Elise to lure out the Blood Wraith so he’ll help them kill people!  He still likes you, right?  Elise just starts wailing and wanders off to write in her journal.

 

Meanwhile, Legion is now Valen, the mainly inept Night Prince.  He and his bros are hanging out waiting to be inspired on how to topple the bad kingdom people.  Inept Pants has no idea how to do that, so he and the bros are just kind of randomly taking out supplies here and there.  That’s why he dumped Elise, so he can sit around and think about all the bone beads they can steal. 

 

On one of these raids, Halvar, one of the big, scary fae people,  who is supposed to be super scary because he’s like the best at killing people, gets himself captured.  I was like, he’s supposed to be scary, right?  They all have all this magic and they let some random guards capture a bro.  I guess maybe they were super drunk? 

 

Ari and Elise, who’s now a co-commander of his army, decide they will rescue Halvar and then the Blood Wraith will go kill people for them.  So off they go to the impossible prison to free the super scary dumba*& who got caught by a regular guard. 

 

As Elise and Siv free Halvar, which he resists, preferring to be tortured than in Elise’s company, Inept Pants and his bros show up at the dungeon castle.  Elise suddenly gets herself captured, again, and Inept Pants has to save her, again.  He gets shot with an arrow and bam, Ari puts him and the bros in chains and takes him back to have Inept Pants healed. 

 

They’ve been reunited!  Because Elise sold Inept Pants out!  Well, she told him to run, but he doesn’t because…I have no idea.  Ari pitches his idea to a shackled Inept Pants that he should join them in their fight against Elise’s brother-in-law and sister, and Inept Pants is like, f off.  Then Ari’s like, okay, Elise is going on a mission and Inept Pants is like, when do we leave.  Sigh.

 

Elise, Inept Pants, and some others go on the mission, which I can’t even remember what happened, then they go back to their village and hang out.  They’re out one day doing village stuff when they’re attacked by the bad kingdom.  Inept Pants tells Elise to go with the children and he’ll be back.  Elise is all, I want to go with you!  And he’s all, no, you go with the children, I have no idea what I’m doing, like, ever, so this is clearly the best plan!  And off runs Inept Pants. 

 

Elise is promptly captured, again, and taken back to the castle where she’s going to be married off to her potential r*pist, who also threated to have her attacked by more men when he was done with her in the first book.  Inept Pants is like, I can’t believe I left her alone with no guards to help when I know that she’s a very high value target!  How could anyone have predicted this! He then cries and goes to write in his journal.

 

No worries, they have a new plan!  Which involves Ari finally releasing the bindings on Inept Pants and the bros.  I have absolutely no idea why they were left on, since it probably would have saved their village from attack if the band had had their magic, but that’s no fun.  It just makes no sense, this book.  Maybe if they’re all drunk all the time, these things might add up, right?  Maybe?

 

With the binding gone, Ari’s like, omg, Inept Pants, your hair is like, blacker, who are you?  And Inept Pants tells him, “I am Prince Inept Pants!” And Ari bows and like, you are amazing, let’s keep doing everything wrong!

 

Off they go to the castle to rescue Elise because, I don’t know, she’s kind of like their mascot now and it’s a bad look to keep losing her.  There’s also a mole, who the lie detector fae lady catches, which was actually a nice touch – it’s been set up enough that it actually made sense.  I was seriously like, wow, that was nice. 

 

Off they go to save Elise, again, who has just been vowed to her potential r*pist.  I think that might have been a reason to protest the marriage to anyone who would listen, but Elise is just like, well, it is my duty.  Fing Elise.

 

Inept Pants and the bros, along with Ari, still fanboying over Inept Pants, invade the vows – Elise’s sister, Runa, was also trading vows with the bad king, and it’s like, can we follow her around for awhile?  Sigh, no.  Blah blah, fighting, blah.  Elise’s mom is killed and Inept Pants’s brother, Sol, is dragged out.  Sol has blight magic, so they all run away to write in their journals in their little village. 

 

Inept Prince finally realizes that he needs to step up, so he declares he’s the Night Prince, blah blah blah, now I’m really ready to make a lot of bad decisions for everyone.  Let’s go!