Nym is a healer! A craftlock healer who can fix you as long as you’re not dead. She’s summoned to the a*&hole castle to try to heal the younger prince, mmmm…what’s his name, I’m not going to look, I’m not going to look…Renn! Prince Renn is a sickly little mama’s boy in a bed, well, he’s like twenty-one.
Nym’s all, I’ll give it whirl, fail, and they’ll kick me out, cool. But after her ministrations he can move a toe! So now she’s stuck there forever. Without pay, food, or water. I’m not really kidding. Despite being the only healer to be able to help her son, the queen keeps Nym hungry, sleep deprived, and on the edges of exhaustion because that will help her son? Umm, sure, lady. It makes no sense, like at all. If Nym’s sick, how can she heal? But no matter! Shut up wench and put your filthy hands on my son! I’ll give you a rock to suck on later!
Seriously, what? Nym’s like twenty or something and is supposed to be a hard truth telling girlie, but her interjections just make her annoying. She’s all, I have to play along so they don’t murder me since my 877 siblings at home need me, then proceeds to toss out a snarky line to the queen to show us she’s spunky. And it’s like, what is going on? Prince Renn is a little whiny boy who doesn’t care that Nym hasn’t had a shower in a month, has no food, and can barely stand from working all day and night for the first half of the book. Slowly he realizes that Nym is a human woman who should be allowed food and some water to clear herself with, especially if she has her hands on him ALL DAY. Takes him awhile, though. Like WAY too long.
(Fyi – Nym heals by dowsing into someone’s lumis, which means she touches you and can see the energy around you in whatever form it’s taken on to represent you. Forests, books, hallways, plants, chandeliers, gummi bears, where’s waldo poster, etc. – she finds the missing animal, heals a broken branch, finds waldo, and bam, you’re healed. This is the sole reason for the okay rating – I really liked this magic. Sadly, it’s attached to Nym, and even worse, her love interest is Prince Whiny.)
Prince Whiny has a very sparkly lumis, but no matter how much Nym glues it back together, it falls apart, leaving him coughing and feeling sorry for himself. Okay, it would suck to be that sick for so long, but I just can’t get past that he let her go hungry and sit in her own filth for so long. Sure, he got her some water and a nicer room later, but what an a*&hole. GIVE HER A BRUSH! And he lets his mama treat Nym poorly for way too long, and it’s like good god, I think he’s our hero. Blech.
Nym does eventually make enough progress that Prince Whiny can take some self-defense classes, so that’s nice for him. She’s required to be by him most of the day, but it’s significantly less once Prince Whiny gets his head out of his a&*. Pretty quickly they start to make googly eyes at each other. A lot. And Nym keeps telling us that he’s the most amazing man, really, she swears, so kind and gentle that he didn’t tell anyone to give her water, or possibly a single change of clothes, for like a month. Awww, what a catch. I seriously couldn’t take it – she just keeps telling us what great guy he is and it’s like NO HE’S NOT, stop it, good golly. It’s too late, Whiny sat by and watched as you were treated like sh*& when you were the only one who has ever helped him, so f off, Nym.
Prince Whiny finally tells her she’s the knees bees and she has a panic attack because despite what an amazing man he is, and he is, really, she swears, she’s sworn off men forever! Why, you ask?
****WARNING – TIGGERS OF EVERYTHING – Well, she was almost married once and I think the guy died, then she was engaged to a peddler who wanted to take care of her and her siblings only to find out he was married and couldn’t marry her, so he sexually and physically abused her violently, she got pregnant from the attack and had a stillbirth. Oh, and her parents and a sibling, I think it was three, were all run over by some royal and died. And her twin sister died helping her, so know her lumis is mixed with Nym’s and talks to her. Dark fantasy strikes again! Still, Nym’s conflicted because Prince Whiny is just such a great guy! Pffffth.****
Eventually the castle is overrun by the bad kingdom and most of the inhabitants are killed. Prince Whiny tries to get Nym to leave with him as he’s carried off like Martin Short in “Arrested Development,” but she can’t, she’s a healer! So she stays, then escapes, wanders around, then finds Prince Whiny and his guard out in a house in the woods. More googly eyes. But she’s finally figured out how to heal him! Thank god, like, I can’t take much more of Whiny.
She completely rebuilds his lumis using part of hers as his heart, and I’m like, well, that’s forward of you. They’re now linked fowwever! The new lumis works and boom, Prince Whiny is now Shiny Fairy Whiny! He glows, can catch arrows, runs like a horse, and his burps smell of lavender!
Still, the bad kingdom is after him, so they have to make a run for it. He leaves Nym to go attack an army or something, promising to be right back and she’s instantly caught by the little weird goatee bad king personally. He remembers her from the castle, ha ha ha! And she’s like, you’re a soul binder and a mind reader – you’ll use me to hurt Shiny Fairy Whiny! And he’s so amazing, really, I really super promise!
She starts to turn her lumis into a fortress as the weird little goatee bad king carries her off to his little castle with a floor dedicated to facial hair grooming.
